Achieving Healthy Relationships through Immaculate Love
How can we use the practice of Golden Silence to mend our relationship with our youth?
We conjoin with Immaculate Love through the Path of Silence. Our youth is where we start right now because they can no longer wait for us to “get it together”. We’ve already left them to suffer unmentionable fates by allowing a society seeped in dysfunction define how we would relate to our own children. Into a dysphoric sleep we fell, leaving our precious children to survive by their own devices that exposed them to living lives far too old for them to experience. Awakening ever so slowly, it seemed that we forgot, not only who we are, but who they are to us. Shocked by their standards, our disdain for their culture (i.e., style of clothing, music, language, behavior and violence) became the popular conversation. Yet, even with their population in cemeteries and industrial prison complexes soaring, their condition still hasn’t quite become urgent enough to rally a powerful, solidified national movement. Forgetting how to love ourselves, we forget how to love our children. When we know what Love truly is, not what it masquerades as, we will continuously avail ourselves to its Immaculate quality. This is what aligns us with the golden path of Silence, the fertile garden of truth that resides within us all, the home of the harmonic cosmic conscience.
The crux of this article applies to all youth of all ages. When we communicate from a place of love to our youth, we are teaching them that they matter and that both they and their feelings have relevance, even if we don’t agree or understand what they are feeling. Whether they like it or not or whether we care to admit it or not, how we feel about our youth aids their growth or promotes their feelings of inadequacy and self-worthlessness. We adults demonstrate to youth daily, our own or young ones we pass in our communities, by the tone of our voice or by the look in our eyes, whether we have love for them or disdain.
When we smile at young people, especially those we hold in judgment, perhaps because their bodies may be covered with tattoos, wearing sagging pants, or behaving loudly and distastefully, we may be adding a glimmer of light to an otherwise very challenged life. We cannot pretend to know the story this child carries daily to school or to the streets. We don’t know if their parents have failed them with abuse or abandonment or if they’re rebelling because these are the years designated in their life cycle to rebel. A kind gesture could, however, save the life of a child/teenager/adult, whose greatest challenge at the time you smiled at them was feeling that they deserved love and could receive it. That smile may free them momentarily of a self-judgment that was tearing a seam in the fabric of their being. Are you aware that the third leading cause of death for a teen is suicide? Many of these young people’s cries for help go unheard.
Before we go on, let us make a clarification of terms, if you do have disdain for your child’s or a child’s behavior; please differentiate between behavior and identity. A child is NEVER bad, but a child may exhibit “bad” behavior. However, if a child hears that he/she is “bad” long enough, they begin to believe that and strive to achieve what is expected of them. You may be asking yourself if you have a challenged relationship with a child/teen how can you show love for someone for whom you have no respect? How can you show a youth love when you find their behavior unacceptable, even damaging to others? How can you touch the heart of a youth who feels closed and angry? I will to illustrate an answer to this question in the following story. Continue reading